Great guys want great girlfriends who are capable of showing a genuine interest in them. While you should date both purposefully and strategically, be careful not to fall into total self-absorption. But even if you don’t “think” you struggle with this particular behavior, don’t be misled. Self-abosorption is one of those personality traits that make us completely oblivious to our own behavior.
Being self-absorbed can mean anything from talking about yourself too much on a date (not sharing the conversation) to being so caught up in your own life that a man feel neglected and unable to connect with you emotionally. There are different levels of self-absorption, and in some way we all have a bit of it. The main problem in dating occurs when a woman fails to show a genuine interest in the man she’s dating.
When a man feels that a woman has taken a genuine interest in him, he’s more likely to see her as a warm, giving, and honest person who might be worth investing in for the future. Being self-centered or self-absorbed communicates to a man that any interest you are showing him is merely agenda based. What this means is that even if you actually do like him, nothing you do will get this message across because he’ll feel as if your interest in him is simply based on what he can do for you. This is relationship suicide.
It’s okay to be goal-driven, to have an engrossingly great life, and to know what you want as a woman. Men love these things. But like anything else in life, too much of a good thing can still make you sick. Don’t let your goals, your incredibly interesting life, or your love life agenda dominate your interactions with men to the point of being narcisistic.
A quality guy wants to be happily seduced into a relationship while being completely ignorant of how it happened. He wants to fall in love with the right person just as much as you do. But it’s going to be impossible for him to open up a woman or even see a future with her if everything about her (her attitude, actions, etc.) screams “ME,ME,ME!”
If you ask enough guys to list some of the more irritating reasons why they might lost interest and stop contacting a woman they went out with a few times, you’d soon discover that one of the most common answers is this: a lack of noticeable and sincere romantic interest on the part of the woman, which, in this context stems from her own self-absorption. For whatever reason, if a man concludes that you’re just not that interested in him, even if you actually are, if he has a healthy amount of self-respect he’ll quickly stop calling you to save himself any further embarrassment.
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