One of the most irresistible qualities that high-quality men desperately want in a woman is this: Complete acceptance of him for the man he is. If you can love a man unconditionally, even accepting the ugly things about him (his love for wearing trucker hats perhaps?), he’ll develop an emotional connection with you that won’t be easily broken because he’ll feel as if you just “get him.”
High-quality men are men that possesss firm personal boundaries and have a low tolerance for female manipulation. A man like this values authenticity and loyalty in a woman to his core, and the act of trying to change him to suit your ideal is a clear sign of treachery. No matter how charming or ridiculously good-looking you think you are, don’t be fooled. No self-respecting man is going to allow you to turn him into your pet project. Keep in mind that the man worth dating, the Mr. MaDreamy you want to end up with, is the kind of man who will accept you for who you are, flaws and all. He will not make it his life’s purpose to mold you into his personal ideal, no matter what kind of potential he sees in you. Granted, he’ll want you to influence you to constantly grow and evolve as he’ll expect the same treatment from you, but he won’t manipulate or try to force you to change.
Such a man will love you unconditionally because he has a high-level of respect for you, as respect is the language men understand most in ALL their relationships. Not accepting him for who he is clearly communicates that you don’t respect him, and if a man doesn’t feel that you respect him he won’t be able to fall in love or stay in love with you.
Naturally, as I mentioned earlier, a good man will be open to the influence of a woman once he’s been assured that the women in question has his best interest in heart. Not, I know some women might be thinking that they have nothing but love for men and that any encouragement towards betterment they offer a man comes from a place of utter sincerity. With that in mind, consider that someone can be honest and sincere but still lack the tact necessary to communicate it effectively.
As with almost anything communicative, sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. If you don’t know how to communicate gracefully with men, you may find yourself constantly frustrated with the men you love and want. Wanting to help a man bring out his highest potential is a noble quality in a woman, but such a task must be handled with the utmost grace, patience, tenderness and compassion.
In order to go the distance with a woman a man must feel that his soul is safe with her. He needs to know that the woman he loves has his best interests at heart, and that she’s more concerned with increasing his well-being than she is with achieving her own personal (and selfish) agenda. Accepting a man as he is creates the kind of emotional environment that makes him feel comfortable opening up to you, thus giving you the perfect opportunity to connect with him on a deep emotional level.
Having a woman constantly berate you to change some aspect about yourself that you don’t want to change is emasculating. It’s even worse when this sort of behavior consistently happens in social settings, among his or your friends and family. But don’t get me wrong. There are certain kinds of men that will willingly change themselves to make you happy, but these probbaly aren’t the kinds of men you want to end up with. Only the passive, nice guy types will hand over their very manhood to you without a second thought and allow you to push them around indefinitely. Getting into a relationshipw ith men like this will frustrate you to no end, especially if you actually want to be with a man who wants to lead his woman just as passionately as he wants to love her.
Unfortunately, having an intense desire to “chisel” men to meet your standards comes with an unattractive side effect. Many women don’t seem to realize that the forceful act of trying to change a man causes them to give off something so very opposite from feminine energy that it might be considered masculine. So masculine in fact, that a high quality, masculine man will be turned off by your mannerisms probably long before they’ve experienced the pleasure of becoming your pet project. And as ebulous as the idea of “maculine energy” sounds, I assure you that the more experienced a man is with the opposite sex the faster he can sense if he’s dealing with a woman who revels in her feminity or if he’s dealing with a straight up ball-busting, man-crafter. Accepting a man and being receptive of him in every way is one of the core ways a woman radiates her feminity to keep a man helplessly hooked and captivated by her. Read that last sentence again.
So as you can see, one of the fastest ways to lose the love and adoration of a man is to try and change him to suit your “ideal” of what you believe he should be. Just like women, a man wants to be loved and accepted for who he presently is, not for what you believe he should be or could be. Even if you see a ton of potential in him, don’t be tempted to chisel a man into somethign that better meets your self-interests. The habit will only net you the affections of passive, subservient men that will probably never be able to stoke your fires, if you catch my drift.
With all that said, ensure that you don’t fall into the habit of dating men you believe are fixer-uppers. Either that or work hard on changing your paradigm so that you learn to accept a man just as he is from the get go. I understand that some women have the mindset that, “If I could just change him, it must mean that I’m special! It must mean that I’m the best woman there is...his best!”
No.This sort of paradigm will keep a woman on a dating merry-go-round where she finds a man, tries to fix him, and leaves (as a result of boredom and loss of attraction to him) when she succeeds at “fixing” him. Either that or the man in question will leave her before she gets a change to sink her manipulative hooks into his individuality.
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