Sending Her Signals When You Want to Kiss
If the signals your partner sends to you are helpful in understanding what she's thinking (but not saying), the signals you send to her can be just as helpful when it comes to letting her know your intentions. For couples who've reached the stage where kissing is a regular thing, the rules relax and a surprise kiss can be fun and exciting, but a first kiss is different.
Startling your date by suddenly planting a kiss on her that she didn’t see coming is almost guaranteed to be awkward, but if you find subtle ways to lead up to that moment she won't be caught unprepared and she'll be more apt to kiss you back.
Signaling Throughout The Date
You can begin sending out signals early in the date by simply making a real connection with your partner. If you genuinely like her and enjoy her company this should come easily. Be open and friendly, teasing and playful, interested in what she has to say and fully engaged in whatever activities you build the date around.You don’t have to become best friends by the end of the date, but she should feel comfortable around you and confident that she can trust you. Since kissing is just another form of communication, the more you connect with her in these small ways throughout the date, the more that kiss is going to feel like a natural extension of everything that came before it.
Breaking the touch barrier is easier for girls because their motives aren't as likely to be questioned. Usually, the safest way for a guy to be the first one to touch is to take his date’s hand in his. Holding hands is simple, it's romantic, and it helps break the ice so that later on the more intimate touch of a kiss feels like a simple step forward rather than a dramatic leap.
Signaling Just Before the Kiss
As mentioned above, signaling provides a way to smoothly transition into a first kiss. Although guys usually send out one or more telltale signals when they're about to kiss their partner, they may not even realize that they're doing it. With experience it usually comes naturally and without much need to think about it.
If you’re new to romantic kissing, however, it can be helpful to review a few common cues as a sort of beginner's guide. Think of this as a “cheat sheet” to help you feel your way through the first few times. Unless you're skipping through parts of the book, these signals will be familiar to you because they're also a few of the signals girls use to let a guy know they'd be oKay with receiving a kiss. They include: Getting quieter. This means the guy speaks softer and slower, with the voice deepening. The sort of intimate tone that blocks out the rest of the world and leaves you feeling as if there's just the two of you in this moment. This often happens naturally at the end of a date as the conversation winds down and the couple prepares to say good-night. Ultimately, the conversation stops altogether as you create a space in which the kiss can take place.
• Shifting gaze.
During the conversation that is leading up to the kiss, the guy casually glances down to his partners lips, then brings his gaze back up to her eyes. Our gaze tends to go to where our thoughts are, so this momentary shift in focus let's her know what you're thinking about. When you lean in to kiss her,look at her mouth again, this time to help guide yourself in for the kiss and also to avoid staring eyeball-to-eyeball as you narrow the distance. As your lips come together let your eyes close.
• Moving closer
When the moment has arrived, the guy leans in slowly; when he's partway to her he pauses very briefly before leaning in the rest of the way to kiss her. This momentary pause gives her a chance to realize whats happening so that she can adjust her position and get ready for the kiss. Pausing also gives you a chance to gauge her reaction. Does she become quiet, gaze down at your mouth, tilt her head to the side, or lean forward to meet you? All positive signs that she wants the kiss to happen.
Keep in mind that these signals are not items on some inflexible list that must be checked off one-by-one before you kiss someone. How you signal a partner of your desire to kiss will probably vary from situation to situation, and you may discover other ways of signaling that suit your personal style better.There’s no set pattern or exact formula that works for every situation, so do what feels right to you in the moment.
Finally, there's something else you can do to help ensure that she isn't caught off guard by a first kiss that seems to come out of nowhere:wait until the end of the date,some guys may reject this because it seems cliche or lacks spontaneity, but there's an advantage to going with the traditional end-of-date first kiss. As you say goodnight she is probably already wondering if you'll try to kiss her because that is the moment when most first kisses do happen. In the heightened awareness of that moment she'll be looking for cues and will be ready to pick up on any you send out. That simplifies things, especially if she's looking back at you with an expectant smile. When that's the case, catching her by surprise isn’t really a problem and the only signaling you’ll probably need to do is to tell her that you've had a great time and hen lean in slowly for the kiss.
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