When he calls, you want to begin by thanking him for calling. Your next sentence should let him know this conversation will be brief. Gregg! Thank you for calling! I’m so happy to hear from you. Unfortunately, I’ve got to scoot in about 10 or 15 minutes though. How are you...?" Now he knows that if he wants to ask you out with this call, he needs to get to it. It also allows you to bail on the call before you guys get into a conversation which could turn out to be too revealing.
As another caution, I want to remind you again, not to spill too much personal information on this call. Don't give him your address, for example. If you plan to meet him on this call, plan a meeting at a public location. We're going to talk about that in a minute.
Get onto the call, allow him time to ask you out, and get off.
When you meet up with him, you want to let him know you have another appointment after this meeting so he knows, again, you've got something else planned and he needs to keep things moving. This gives you an out, again, if things just aren't working well. Of course, by now your bases are covered and you have screened him pretty good, things should start to be fun!
Plan to meet him for coffee if possible. Plan a late morning or lunchtime date. Only someone who is serious about you will do a daytime date. A guy who wants in your pants won't like the idea of a daytime date. Coffee is also an inexpensive and, by nature, more brief encounter. Coffee houses today are more comfortable and quieter than a bar, a restaurant or a movie theater. They’re also public and your first few meetings or dates with this guy need to be in a public place, and they need to stay in a public place.
There are two key things you need to do on this first meeting. One is plan an exit strategy just in case. If you don't think you're strong enough to fake it, ask a friend to call you at a designated time. You can answer the call and either say, “I can be there in 10 minutes!” or you can say, I’m sorry Stephan, I’m kind of busy right now, can I call you back in a little while?
The other thing you can do is plan a few questions to ask. This will help keep things going, and they should be things you genuinely want to know about him. Don’t go deep though. “Gee Gregg do you want one child or three?" will freak him out! You do want to have this conversation soon, but not at a first meeting.
Remember, for him, part of the excitement is chasing you. He needs the challenge. Just don’t allow things to go completely stagnant. If he's a shy guy, you may need to help him out a bit. Getting a guy to talk about his hobbies, life or passions is very easy!
There is a lot here to absorb. We talked about warning signs, looking inside to make sure you're ready for this relationship, when it’s time to meet and how to go about meeting. Remember these important things：
Don’t fall in love with a profile - love will not happen online.
Remember the information about cat fishing - beware of scammers. Don’t share too much information with a stranger - and this person is a stranger.
Make sure you're ready to meet him - give that first meeting every chance of success.
Use video chatting with Skype or another program to check him out a little better.
Let him chase you - don't call him -you’ll take away the challenge for him.
Keep phone calls short and mystery alive -10-15 minutes.
Meet him in public for the first meeting and the first few dates.
Be prepared with a few questions and we touched on this a bit already, but examining first date mishaps deserves a chapter of its own. It can be both discouraging and frustrating to go out on.
You can quickly get disheartened and question what you've been learning. Rather than second-guess, let’s examine some real possibilities.
In addition to the reasons I just cited in the last chapter, there are several things which are not happening in the right way. Do you remember learning math as a kid? See if "common denominator” sounds familiar to you in any way. What is the common denominator in all of your failed dates? I'm sorry to say this - but it's you.
Sure, it feels much better to blame the guys, but let’s be honest. You’re missing a link somewhere and it's time to find out where and the truth of the matter is that if you continue to experience bad first dates, your confidence is going to tank and then you will be in an even worse position of accepting any guy who waves in your direction, loser or not.
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