Some people may think, What's the big deal for kissing in the first date?It's only a kiss. But there are other people who regarded that as the most intimate physical act they share with another person, even more intimate than sexual intercourse.When those two types end up dating each other timing that first kiss so they both enjoy it can become tricky.
If you ask a dozen of your friends their opinion about kissing you're likely to get every different answers, but when it comes to whether or not to kiss on the first date, every opinion can be put into one of the three categories.
1) Always
2) Sometimes
3) Never
While it's impossible to come up with an answer that's right for every person in every situation, looking at each of these categories can at least provide some useful guidelines.
Option 1： Always Kiss on the First Date
People in this category expect a kiss on the first date. They practically demand it. If there's not a kiss, they sometimes decide that there won't be a second date because of it. In my opinion,this is the only one of the three options that's an absolute dud, a non-starter. In this case, it's not the kiss on the first date that's the problem — it's the insistence on it.
It should go without saying that anybody, male or female, always has the right to decide that they don't want to kiss someone. But people in this category believe that they are owed that kiss regardless of how the first date went, and regardless of the feelings of their partner. It's an attitude that turns kissing into a sort of transaction: Payment on demand for their willingness to go out with you and/or spend money during the date. This level of immaturity should send up a red flag — their focus is themselves, not you. When someone insists on getting physical even when their partner is reluctant, it's reasonable to assume that their main interest is sex, not a relationship. If their partner does decide to give in and let them have that kiss, it's unlikely that the you-owe-me attitude will end there.
Fortunately, most people opt for (2) or (3). Either is a reasonable approach when timing that first kiss, and so it really comes down to personal preference.
Option 2: Sometimes Kiss on the First Date
Many people like to keep a loose, wait-and-see attitude.Especially if this is someone they don't know well prior to the first date, they prefer to see how things go before deciding about a kiss. Is there a connection? Is there chemistry? If the date goes well and they feel good about their partner, then to them kissing feels like a natural way to end the evening.
This go with the flow approach works well, as long as you're willing to accept that the person you are with may not be ready to kiss as soon as you are. If you want to kiss your partner, but they are sending signals that indicate that this isn't the night, the wise move may be to wait for another time. On the other hand, if they give what seems like positive signals, such as lingering at the end of the date and moving in closer, then the time might be right for that kiss. To up the odds that you're reading your partner's signals correctly it helps to know some body language basics — something well cover in the next chapter.
Option 3: Never Kiss on the First Date
Some people prefer never to kiss on the first date. If this seems old-fashioned, there are some good practical reasons they may feel this way that have nothing to do with moral prudishness. Listed below are several of the reasons that people sometimes prefer not to kiss on the first date (or the second or third, for that matter).
• Better. This is the most common reason people don't kiss on the first date. For them, it feels odd kissing someone they really just met.They may feel nervous or shy. Especially if inexperienced or insecure, they may need time to get comfortable with another person before engaging in such a close, intimate act.
• They may prefer to hold off because they want to make it clear that they are looking for a relationship, not a fling. By holding back they may be testing their partners motives as well, weeding out people who are only looking for a good time with no strings attached.
• They may like you very much. As counter-intuitive as it seems, sometimes a person chooses not to kiss right away because they see real long-term potential in the person they are with.They may actually be more inclined to kiss someone casually when they're less interested in them as a partner.
• They may be cautious because they want to avoid illnesses that can be passed mouth-to-mouth. While kissing is generally a safe, healthy activity that has been shown to enhance connection but that doesn't mean that it's entirely risk free. Some illnesses can be passed on by kissing.
Fortunately，most of us go through our romantic lives with out getting any of these illnesses, but they are nonetheless out there and something to be aware of. To reduce risk, some people make the choice not to kiss unless to know their partner well.It is beyond the scope of this to provide medical advice,but there are many good sources of information, including websites for the Mayo CI www.mayocUmc.com and the Center for Disease Co.
What does this have to do with knowing when to go in for that first kiss? The behaviors that we use to get to a first date don’t end there. We continue to flirt, because it’s fun and because it’s useful. Most of the time, a new partner isn’t going to come out and tell you that they want you to kiss them, but they may provide indirect clues if you're paying attention and know what to look for. Since so much of what goes on between two people on a date happens non-verbally, the ability to accurately read body language can be viewed as a tool to help us smoothly navigate the sometimes choppy and uncertain waters of romance.
By the way, a majority of men and women prefer that at least some traditional role-playing takes place when it comes to romance. That usually means the guy does the asking out, initiates the first kiss, and, eventually, if things go very well, does the proposing. To keep things simple, in this chapter assume it's the male who'll be making the first move, but that doesn't mean that a girl who bucks tradition and surprises her shy boyfriend with a first kiss won't find him very happy to receive it. While some guys might get turned off or feel threatened by a female taking charge at that moment, most guys are delighted when a girl initiate any sort of physical affection.
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