There is a time to talk a time to keep silent. Sometimes the best thing we can do is say nothing. When you do say something, it is wisdom to think first and be purposeful in what you say. If you truly believe that your words are filled with life or death, why wouldn’t you choose what you say more carefully?
Even a fool when he holds his peace is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is esteemed a man of understanding.
I firmly believe that if we do what we can do, God will do what we cannot do. We can control what comes out of our mouths with the help of the Holy Spirit and by applying principles of discipline. Even when we talk about our problems or the things that are bothering us, we can talk about them in a positive and hopeful way.
I have been having some back problems, and my daughter Sandy called this morning to see how my back was. I told her it was still hurting, but that I was thankful it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I said, “I am sleeping well, and that is a positive thing.” In other words, I didn’t deny the problem, but I am making an effort to have a positive outlook. I am determined to look at what I do have and not just at what I don’t have. I know in time the backache will be taken care of, and I believe that until then, God will give me the strength to do what I need to do.
In 1911, the Mona Lisa turned up missing and could not be found for two years. It had been stolen. But an interesting phenomenon of human nature occured. In the two years of its absence, more people looked at the spot where it previously rested than had actually seen the painting in the two years prior to its theft.
Just like all those visitors to the Louvre, many of us spend our lives more concerned about what’s missing than about what we have, and sadly we often talk more about our problems than we do our blessings. Talking about problems causes us to focus on them, and as I say often,“What we focus on becomes larger and larger.” I believe that misery is an option! Things don’t make us miserable without our permission.
Rober schuller said, “The good news is that the bad news can be turned into good news when you change your attitude.” And if you can’t muster up a good attitude concerning something you’re unhappy about, you can at least try to downplay the negative.
My friend Antoinette, who lives in New York, told me about something that occurred recently that upset her terribly. She was driving home from visiting relatives at the end of Memorial Day weekend. As she approached the Gorge Washington Bridge, hundreds of cars bottlenecked as they approached a handful of toll booths. Traffic was moving very slowly, and as she was following a big SUV in front of her through a series of traffic cones, she heard a siren from behind, and a policeman told her through a megaphone to stop and get out of the car.
He proceeded to treat her like a criminal, barking orders for her to hand over her license, registration, and insurance papers and get back into her car. She had no idea what she’d done wrong, and politely asked him what the problem was. He ignored her question and started writing a ticket. A few minutes later he called her back to his car and said, “You saw those cones. Now you’re going to court.”
To make matters worse, the ticket had no fine, but it did have a court date - she was ordered to appear before a judge three weeks later. Now she would have to take time off from work to appear in court... and she didn’t even know that she had done wrong!
She had been under a great of pressure, and that incident set her off completely. She started crying, cried her way across the bridge, and was still crying when she arrived home half an hour later. Obviously, she was upset about more than just the ticket.
Normally, she would have told her friends and her colleagues at work about the incident, since it was the overiding memory of her holiday weekend. But over the next day or so, whenever she was tempted to tell the story, she stopped herself.
It occured to her that talking about the incident would just reinforce her bad mood and upset her. So when her friends asked her abour her weekend, she just talked about the good starts and didn’t tell them about her encounter with the law.
Antoinette learned quite a lesson: by deciding not to talk about her troubles, she actually was able to keep her turmoil down to a minimum.
If you will make a decision that you are going to say as little as possible about your problems and disappointments in life, they won’t dominate your thoughts and your mood. And if you talk as much as possible about your blessings and hopeful expectations, your frame of mind will match them. Be sure each day is filled with words that fuel joy, not anger, depression, bitterness, and fear. Talk yourself into a better mood! Find something positive to say in every situation.
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