It’s no wonder that we humans want to control things... there’s so much that’s out of control. We like to control something for a change. But unfortunately, rather than bothering to try to control ourselves, we usually try to control what we should not control. I spent years trying to control the people in my life as well as all my circumstances because I was afraid of being hurt or taken advantage of. But the only thing I achieved was constantly being frustrated and angry. It took me a long time to realize that people respond defensively when we try to control them. Everyone has a God-given right to freedom of choice, and they resent anyone who tries to take that from them. I finally realized that what I was doing was ungodly, and therefore it was never going to work. Not only would I never have peace because of my behavior, but I was also systematically alienating most of the people I wanted to have a relationship with. Sadly, I wasted a lot of years in this impossible pursuit before I realized that God wanted me to give Him control of every area of my life. When you stop to think about it, He is in control anyway! But our peace comes as we surrender our desire to be in charge and instead trust in Him.
God desires that we use the wonderful tools He has supplied to control ourselves instead of trying to control people and things. He has given us His Word, His Holy Spirit, and a wide variety of good fruit that we can develop. Self-control is actually a fruit of the Spirited life (see Gal. 5:22-23). If you have a tendency toward wanting to control the people and circumstances in your life, you’re suggested that you give it up and start controlling yourself instead. This is your opportunity to say, “I am in control.”
I am in control by being in control of myself.
Although learning to control ourselves requires patience and endurance, it is well worth it in the end. My circumstances have much less control over me now, simply because my first response is usually to work with God in how I am going to respond to the circumstance. I am in control by being in control of myself. When your circumstance is unpleasant or even downright painful, exercise self-control. Say something positive like, “This too will pass, and it will work out for my good in the end.” Then discipline yourself to put your time into something that will benefit someone else. The best medicine is to do something good in response to the evil coming against you.
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