When confronting people who are very successful, will you be very jealous or will you admire them as inspiration? For example, if you knew someone who had such wonderful skin compared to yours, will be jealous about it or will you admire her and talk to her about her skin care regime and learn from her how to care your own skin as well as hers? If you admire someone for some attribute you would like, you just go to talk to him or her and find out more because you may just amaze yourself in the process. Jealousy leaves you feeling hollow and empty while inspiration is a lot more powerful in a positive way.
To get rid of jealousy and improve yourself, the best choice is to admire people better or more successful than you in some aspects to build your self up, so that you don't feel like that you have something to feel jealous about. Following them, you'll certainly find that you make yourself much happier and you don't take it out on around you. In case you can't sense any good feeling by learning from or admiring someone, then you have a real self-esteem problem and need to deal with it. Self-esteem isn't any more comlex than being the way you see yourself, but it is powerful fuel for jealousy. If you look at areas of your life that you're unhappy with, then there will be a reason for your unhappiness. You'd better deal with the root of the problem. The focus and issue is "Why do I feel so jealous?" This is what is holding you back. To really deal with this issue, you shall be very strong willed and be able to recognize jealousy as and when it happens. Three steps as below can be followed:
1.Learn to look at this issue from a different perspective.
2.Be aware of the way that triggers work with you.
3.Change the triggers to something positive.
To explain the three steps more specifically, examples are given more clearly. If you are jealous of your sistem because she has more than you. Look at it from her perspective. Is she gloating? Is she rubbing it in? If you look at things from her perspective, you may see what a negative person that makes her. You need to be sorry for her instead of letting her rile you. Be sorry that she has to display so much material stuff to validate who she is while you don't and you never have to. You are a person whose needs are not material. You see? who's weaker? You need to see things from a different perspective to step away from jealousy.
If you're aware of the triggers of jealousy, you can recognize them when they happen. You should stop taking the bait. You need to look what happens when you step away and ignore them. There isn't such a difference in your life that you can't live with it. In fact, the lack of jealousy actually means that the triggers don't work anymore. It's funny because when you change your viewpoint, you begin to see jealousy for the petting thing that it is. Though petty it is, it's extremely destructive.
It's always of great help to change triggers to something positive. You can choose to shift from "I think he has been unfaithful" to "I think he's working hard to bring home extra", from "I think she is prettier than me" to "I must ask her what makeup she uses." You are the only one to get rid of the triggers, but you're stuck with jealousy until you do. This means if you don't use people you admire as inspiration but choose to be jealous, you'll make your loved ones and even your friendships suffer.
Admiring people better or more successful than you in some aspects will be of great help for you to be able to establish relationships on an equal basis. This is great because you will surround yourself with people who do not use jealousy as a means to get what they really want and you'll gain much more improvements in many aspects.
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