Kissing Mindfully
Now let's this back to our main topic. For a moment, picture people who have exactly the same level of technical skill when it comes to kissing. They both know all the right moves. But when the first person kisses his partner, he remains somewhat distant and unfocused, with a million things on his mind. When his partner puts out subtle cues many of them get missed. Even though he knows how to kiss, he's too impatient and tuned out to get the timing right, and his partner ends up feeling as if she's being kissed by rote. The second person, on the other hand, is right there with his partner, fully experiencing every moment, every move he makes flowing naturally from an awareness of his own feelings and his partner's responses. When he kisses his partner, his focus is on her and she knows it.
Which experience is more likely to make a person who's being kissed feel that they're valued by their lover? Whose approach to kissing would be more pleasurable and exciting for their partner. For most people, the answer is obvious.
To bring mindfulness into your kissing, remember to open yourself up to your senses. Slow your kisses down so that you can relish the experience. Take a moment to look at your partner as if for the first time. Take in the small details you may not normally notice：the delicate hairs on her arm, the different flecks of color in his hairs. For most of us sight tends to be a dominant sense, so, at times, close your eyes and focus on your other senses. Notice the slight tug of their moist lips as you brush across them, the taste of their mouth, the texture of their skin and the interplay of soft muscle and hard bone under the surface, and the warmth of their body next to yours. Tap into your partner's experience through their verbal and nonverbal cues. Listen to your partner's little groans and sighs, and how their breathing subtly changes when they get excited. Let this awareness of their feelings merge with your own inner experience. Allow this sense of connectedness to guide your moves in a natural, organic way that intensifies the pleasure for both of you.
Comment