When you have convinced yourself that your man is seeing another woman no matter how much reassurance he gives you, your jealousy makes you accuse him of the worst crime he could possibly commit against your relationship. Pay attention that is may not be that your partner is being unfaithful. It may be that your jealous reaction to his actions is alienating him to the extent that he soon will be. Unless you actually have facts to go on and are ready to discuss what is happening in your partner's life, put your suspicions away.
Once there was a friend came to me absolutely convinced that her husband was cheating. Nothing he did was going to convince her otherwise. What we found was that she was so accustomed to losing everything she loved in life that she saw this as a normal course of events. The fact that he was not unfaithful never crossed her mind. Her life had been a series of negative events and she expected that to continue. Instead of confidiing in a shrink or in her partner about her own insecurities and dealing with them, she took her feelings out on the only person who had ever treated her decently. Confronted with the fact that her husband had never been unfaithful, she finally realized that all of her insecurities were caused by past events in her life and her own expectation of failure.
Luckily for her, she had a partner who was willing to stand by and take the abuse that she was giving him because he loved her. However, you should keep in mind that jealousy can wear down a relationship to a point that a loved one will walk away because your partner's tought process can be something like this: no matter what I do for her, she still has no trust in me.
Often, the trust is in destiny rather than in the individual.However, if you subject someone you love to constant harassment and accusations, it won't be long until he or she realizes that the trust he or she expect from the relationship isn't there and this will make your relationship less tenable and more likely to fail.
A more appropriate response in these circumstances would have been for a wife to talk to her husband :"I love you, but I have insecurity issues because of my past. Can you help me through this rough patch, please?"
When you realize that you have a problem and you want your relationship to survive, you have to first admit that you have a problem. You should realize that these are your issues but not your partner's, while your partner has to live with the consequences of your issues. Therefore, you shall be able to address these issues and move forward with a much more positive attitude if you want your relationship to survive. If your partner has realized that you have problems, he or she may offer to take you for help.At this time, you would be wise to go along with the idea, no matter how scary it may sound because by turning your back on the problem, you'll make your partner feel that the relationship is no longer worth pursuing. A relationship without trust isn't worth it because you're showing no trust in your partner.
In many abusive relationships, the abuser takes control. He may stop her from going out with friends and she may stop him from working late or even turn up in the work place to check on him. This is very stupid way to conduct a relationship. In any scenarios similar to those mentioned as above, Jealousy usually spoils everything. Anytime when you're jealous, wake up and you should realize that the problem is yours and the thoughts are yours. Unless you confront with jealousy seriously and completely, can you make your friendships and relationships move forward to a better way.
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