As you're navigating the daily challenges of maximizing your time, handling personal issues, getting the kids fed and loved on, keeping the house clean, and the lights on, it is easy to lose hold of your outlook, feel overwhelmed, and become frustrated. Here are some of the most effective beliefs to adopt right away that will allow you to get - and keep an attitude that's going to help make your life painless.
“I learn from everything.” The questions we ask ourselves can make or break us. When challenges hit, and they do, one power question to pose right away is: “What is the lesson for me in this situation?" Have you noticed when you don’t learn your lesson the first time, you end up in the same or similar, and many times more painful, situation again? By asking that question, you can nail down what you're supposed to learn from the situation in order to avoid repeating it in the future.
The second part of this learning process is putting systems in place so the lesson will automatically not repeat itself. The next question is, “What are ten ways I can make sure this situation never happens again?” This list is a brain-storming session that enables you to learn from the fresh wound and avoid future ones.
Here's an example that might help: You get in your car to take your kids to school and get to work. You’re scheduled to be just on time if you leave now. As you turn the ignition, you notice the “low fuel” light is on. Rats! Now you have to take at least five minutes to gas up, leaving the possibility wide-open that you will be late. I used to experience this quite a bit. Now I have my car cleaned and gassed up at least once a week, and more often if I notice the gauge falls below the half-tank marker. That way, I never have to stop when I should be on my way. Spending time identifying and addressing your “gaps” early will allow you to safeguard yourself and prevent future hardship.
Each time you experience a challenge, spend time later thinking about how you can prevent it in the future and document what you discover in your journal.
"This too shall pass." Remember this: You feel the worst when you’re in the midst of the crisis. It is easy to lose perspective and give up hope. This is the best time to stay steadfast in your conviction. Keep your vision, goals, and dreams vividly in your mind. Life consists of seasons, as do situations. There will come a day when the awful problem you're having now will be a distant memory. Prepare to triumph over this situation now by remembering “This too shall pass.”
“No retreat, no surrender!” This mindset is critical for single moms to adopt, preferably sooner rather than later and hopefully when you're not already in the midst of a crisis. Do not back down from adversity.
Use this as your mantra repeatedly: I have it in me to face and overcome anything that comes my way. Repeat as often as needed or even if it is not needed.
If you're not entirely convinced this mantra is true, think back to other times when you thought the world was coming to an end. If you're reading this book, you’re still here! Even if you’ve only been a single mom for ten minutes, you have gotten this far, and what has brought you here is a strong foundation for getting you where you want to end up.
Evaluate how you will choose to move forward, keeping in mind that one super-effective choice available to you includes “bend but don’t break.” Think of trees in a storm. They gracefully accommodate natural forces while still staying strongly, anchored by their foundation. Think of yourself as a tree in the face of your storms and sway in the face of difficulty without giving in.
“It's half-full not half-empty!” Most people possess a dual thought process: I’m awesome; well, maybe not so much.” A tennis match seems to be going on in their heads, an argument of will that in one moment serves them in their quest to move forward, and the next takes the wind out of their sails. Seeing the glass as half-full really isn't the Pollyanna approach; instead, it’s the approach that allows you to retain hope. Hope is the single, most-named factor when people are polled about how they survived and even thrived in the face of adversity. Keep hope alive, and you're keeping your dreams alive and increasing your chances of goal achievement!
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” The only person who can make “it” (your vision and goals) happen is you. The only thing or person standing in the way of your own success, love, and happiness is you. By adopting this attitude, you set in motion invisible forces that will come to your aid. You also raise your vibration and will attract what you need in order to achieve your every desire. Staying in "possibility thinking” will keep you focused on how you can accomplish anything you want. If you're going to argue for something, argue for how you can make it happen, instead of arguing about how it is just not going to happen.
As you can see, simple shifts in your personal attitude will make all the difference. You will feel better, which means you will be more resourceful about everything, not just in choosing your new love.
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