If you have been single for any amount of time, then you have probably had to face this question before. When we were younger, many of us bought into the belief that God had a special person predestined for us, and we would inevitably meet them and fall in love by a certain age. However, by now, many of us have come to realize that that is not always, how it happens.
As we get older, we continue to form hopes and expectations every time we decide to try again or begin seeking out a new relationship. We may try to go into things with an open mind, but on some level, the expectations are always there. We convince ourselves that this time will be different from all the other times. Maybe we even have good reasons for it. Maybe the other person has actually initiated things and shown some interest this time, giving us more hope than usual-Maybe we have even seen some special signals or unique happenings that we have interpreted as positive signs from God.
Maybe this time, it will really work.
However, not even all of those things really guarantee a relationship's success. So what do we do when everything we thought was going to happen does not work out after all, and we face disappointment yet again?
1.Move on peaceably
When this happens to you, the first thing to do is to move on, as quickly and cleanly as possible. Do not get bogged down or tempted to wallow in the mire of your latest relationship disappointment. If you do, you will not be ready for whatever comes next.
However, this is not to say that you cut off all your ties with the other person and just walk away, acting as if you are not hurt at all. Rather, do everything in your power to resolve your conflicts or misunderstandings. Be mature and talk things out with the other person. Actively seek peace, closure, and continued fellowship if possible. Give and accept forgiveness. God says, Blessed are the peacemakers (Matthew 5:9) and tells us to Live peaceably with others (Romans 12:18) When one relationship does not work out, first come to peace with the other person, with yourself and with all parties involved. Then you can move on to improve things.
2.Remember that God is faithful
If we expect things to work out a certain way, or even expect God to do something particular for us, then we may be disappointed when that doesn’t happen. We need to remember that God is faithful and that He has not failed to deliver anything that He has promised us.
Contrary to what some may believe, God’s word does not promise a happy marriage for every Christian. Even if He has that for you someday, in most cases He does not give us a specific timetable or a flashing neon sign with your future partner's name. Just because things have not worked out for you this time, does not mean that God or His plans have failed in any way. Even if what you thought was God's will does not happen, God still has a good plan.
In The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis, Puddle glum at one-point remarks, "Asian didn’t tell Pole what would happen. He only told her what to do in the same way, God tells us how we should live, but not always, what will happen each step of the way. Our job is just to follow and do our part to live well.
3.Don't lose hope
This tough one for me or for anyone has faced rejection and disappointment more than a few times. However, it is essential. If we do not have hope for the future, then we do not really have any reason to keep trying to make it through life.
One Corinthians 13:7 tells us ‘love hopes all things’. If your relationship did not work out this time around, then you can have genuine hope that God has something better in mind for you. That may be a different relationship eventually. Alternatively, it may be something else — a job, a ministry, and another opportunity that God has prepared for your life. Again, we do not know the specifics. However, if we know whom we are placing our faith in, then we can have legitimate and well-placed confidence that things really are not as bad as they may seem for a time.
All of us will encounter relationship disappointment at some time or another. However, if we seek peace, have faith, and keep hope, then it is never the end of the story.
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