We expect certain things and behaviors from ourselves, and when we fail to live up to those standards, it’s easy to get angry with ourselves. For some people, that anger is deep-seated and longstanding. It is good to have high expectations of yourself, but not unrealistic ones.
Perfectionists especially have problems in this area. They want to be perfect - and they never will be. We can be perfect in heart, but we won’t arrive at perfection in our performance as long as we are in flesh-and-blood bodies. Thankfully, we can grow spiritually and learn to behave better, but I want to encourage you to learn how to celebrate even your small victories instead of being angry with yourself. It is only natural to feel disappinted in ourselves when we fail, but once again we need to not let the disappointment turn into a deeper problem. Get reappointed by reminding yourself that God loves you unconditionally and is changing you little by little. Look at your progress instead of how far you have to go.
We all disappoint ourselves at times, a few years ago I behaved very badly in a relationship, and to this day I am still sorry about the way I acted. I was working with someone and our personalities did not blend well at all. After trying for several years to make a change for both our sakes. I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to hurt the other person. The longer I waited, the more her weaknesses irritated me, and I am sure mine irritated her. Because I felt trapped, it made me angry, and I reacted to the way I felt instead of taking proper action and doing what I knew I really needed to do.
I thought my reason for the procrastination was noble: I just didn’t want to hurt her. But no matter how noble my motive was, I was still disobeying the Holy Spirit’s leading, and that always ends up bad. When the relationship ended, it was not pretty, and I know we both regretted it. I did all I knew to do to make things right, but it was one of those situations that simply could not be fixed and I felt really bad about it.
It took me a while, but I finnally received God’s forgiveness and made every effort to learn from my mistake. Let me assure you that staying angry with yourself because you failed won’t do any good. Are you disappointed with yourself? If you are, then right now is the time to let it go and get reappointed. It is time to stop living by how you feel.
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