If your partner's self-esteem is rock solid and their confidence in the relationship is, too, they'll probably take it in stride if you make a simple, courteous request that they adjust their kisses in some way. If your partner is on the sensitive side, however, and they're less sure of themselves, you may want to consider some of the following suggestions before you ask for a change.
Reduce the risk of a negative reaction by waiting for the right moment to bring the topic up. It's usually better not to express your desire for a change while you're in the middle of a make-out session. When passions are running high and emotions are aroused, people tend to let their guard down. In that vulnerable state, your partner is more likely to view your comment as a personal criticism. Better to wait until the kissing is over and you're engaged in normal conversation.
You might start out by mentioning how much you value the time that the two of you spend together. Put your suggestion in perspective by letting them know that the good side of your physical relationship far outweighs this very minor thing that you'd like changed. Make it clear that it is a personal preference you have and not a criticism of their kissing ability. For example, if they have a habit of pushing their tongue so far into your mouth that it becomes uncomfortable, you might say, 'The front of my mouth is really sensitive and that's where your tongue feels best to me”.
During the conversation, focus on the single kissing behavior you want changed. Don’t let the discussion drift into a wider critique of your partner or use this as an opportunity to the relationship. If there are other issues that you think need to be dealt with bring them up in another conversation. Keep this separate,don't create tension around an activity that should draw you closer together.
Finally, let your partner know that you're open to their input as well. What do they like about how you kiss? What would they like you to do differently? Let them know that you're equally concerned about pleasing them. Make it clear that they, too, stand to benefit from a relationship where openness about ones likes and dislikes can be expressed in an honest, respectful way.
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