Maybe people going into a marriage should be given a handbook showing all the things that can go wrong in a marriage, with a trouble-shooter section so that either one of the parties to the marriage can look in the back of the book and decipher what's going wrong with the marriage. Unfortunately, life isn't as easy as that and since there are many things that can go wrong with marriages, it would be a little presumptuous to think that something as simple as a handbook would address the kind of issues that may come up during the.
Here is a cross section of complaints made by woman and made by men about their partners which may help you to see if any of the replies that we obtained are similar to problems within your marriage. You may be surprised at how many seem similar but men and women do seem to have common complaints about that institution of marriage that they have in common：
Men - common complaints made by men:
• My wife doesn’t take care of my sexual needs
• My wife has become more interested in the kids than in me
• My wife doesn't understand how important my buddies are
• I don't think that women understand men
• She wants a family saloon - I want to keep my sports car
• She doesn't spend enough on herself
• She is always complaining at the way I look
Women - common complaints made by women：
• He doesn't shower often enough
• He stays too long at work or with his buddies
• He leaves his clothes scattered around the house
• He doesn't give me compliments any more
• He doesn't do his share in the house
• He always leaves the toilet seat up
Some of these may seem petty and they are, but if you were to add up the more irritations a spouse feels as a result of the actions of the husband/wife, the more likely the marriage is to get into deep waters because instead of addressing the problems, these are simply spoken and forgotten about until the next time that they happen. If you do find yourself in any of these situations, instead of accepting this as the norm, you need to address it in some way so that your spouse does not feel that you are neglecting needs.
Ingrid and her husband Josh started to get complacent about their marriage. Behind his back, she complained to her friends about him. Behind her back, Josh complained to his friends about her. When you spoke to the friends, they saw this is part of normal bickering between man and wife, but what was happening was that the gap was widening. The more distance they put between themselves, the more they seemed to get dissatisfied until one day, Ingrid just up and left. The shame of it was that these were all petty problems that just built into mountains and neither of them had thought about talking to the one important person in the picture. Marriage shouldn't mean an end to talking. It should be the start to talking and being able to trust each other.
The next time that you find yourself badmouthing your spouse behind his/her back, you need to question whether your spouse actually knows what he/she is doing wrong. Most of the time they don’t. That means that they won't stop that action and your thoughts about it will build up in a negative way until the next action, making all of these little mole hills into mountains until you lose your temper and your poor spouse doesn’t know what’s hit him/her.
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