In order to improve your marriage, you first must realize where the spark went. When you were courting your partner, you went out on dates, called each other several times a day, sent texts and nothing could keep you away from each other.
Now things seem to have changed. You don’t feel those ‘butterflies’ anymore when you think about your partner, sex has become a chore rather than the romantic, mind blowing experience it used to be and the worst thing is that you have tried so hard to reconnect with your partner but it’s just not happening and it seems like it’s the end of the road.
What if I told you that more than 90% of couples go through such times in their marriages when it feels like they have grown apart and the spark has faded from their relationship and researchers have discovered that 30-60% of married individuals who cheat on their spouse do so because of the loss of excitement in their relationships.
Rather than cheat on your spouse or run into the arms of someone else, why not try to understand why the affection you feel for your spouse has waned and try to understand what you can do to rebuild this connection. Let us look at things that can lead to a loss of spark in a relationship.
Dishonesty: True love and intimacy is about sharing everything with your partner. It is about allowing yourselves to penetrate each other. Holding things back from your partner is the first thing that causes a loss of connection in your relationship.
The thought of sharing everything with your partner may be scary but throwing all your cards on the table and letting your partner see the real you helps you to connect at a deeper level. You would, feel like you know each other well and you can try each other and that helps you to stay on necked to each other.
Poor Sexual Life: You can't rule out power of sex in any relationship. Sexual energy is very strong and is like glue that cements your marriage. If you and your partner have grown sexually distant, then there is bound to be a loss of connection in your marriage. You wouldn't feel that warmth and affection that was once there and you would become like buddies rather than a couple.
Physical Distance: Too much physical dissection in a marriage. For your marriage to continue to grow and thrive there is a need for you to spend time together. When you become too busy with work and other things such that you barely have time to go on dates, talk to each other, and spend time together, it creates a wide emotional gap between you.
Lack of Space: A wise person once said, "Marriage is not a prison sentence" but unfortunately today, so many couples treat marriage like a prison sentence. They bring on the “you are married to me now so I own you; I have to know what you are doing, where you are and who you are with at every time of the day".
This kills the connection in your relationship. For a marriage to continue to thrive there is a need for space and time apart. "When you spend too much time together and you are literally in each other's businesses at every point in time, it makes you less attractive to each other. The human brain is designed to desire what it cannot get. When you give your partner the space and opportunity to miss you, it revitalizes your relationship. Just as it is important to spend quality time together, it is also essential to spend time apart; you must create a balance.
Misconceptions: The spark in some marriages also dies because one or both partners have decided to believe in common misconceptions about marriage and relationships. People tell you that after the first two years of your marriage, there's a biochemical drop-off that causes a loss of connection in your relationship. They tell you that it's normal and that there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening and then you believe them and stop bothering to work on your relationship.
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