Having an affair will be the most excruciatingly awful experience you're ever likely to go through voluntarily, and so a solemn piece of advice to you is this, if you can help it, don't fall in love. Don't do yourself the disservice of ever truly believing that your married man will leave his wife for you because if he wanted to, he already would have. And so, never threaten to reveal his affair in order to get your way or get him for yourself. Also consider whether you would ever trust him not to cheat on you as he cheated on his wife, even if he left her for you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't stake your psychological and emotional health on the odds that he will commit to you. You would have a far higher chance of winning the lottery while being simultaneously struck by lightning.
Another simple point that you need to remember and follow is not to offer or provide sexual exclusivity or fidelity to your married man. While this may be fun for you, don't stop yourself from exploring healthier and more normal relationships either. Besides, if he's cheating on his wife with you, then he's hardly in the position to tell you to be sexually exclusive to him, regardless of whatever he may say about his sex life with his wife. If you find someone during your tryst with whom you can enjoy a healthier bond, even if you don't see a future with him, don't hold yourself back, but just give it a shot.
While you should refrain from talking to friends or family in order to avoid being constantly criticized or judged, if you have a friend whom you know with absolute certainty wouldn't betray your confidence, talk to him/her about your situation, and use him/her as emotional support whenever you feel yourself being brought down by the situation. Avoid turning to chemical crutches at any point to make it easier to emotionally and psychologically deal with it. Submerge yourself in personal and professional goals, and surround yourself with friends as often as you can, while you're not spending time with him.
Lastly, though you're his fantasy woman, and you should enjoy sex as freely as you can open up to him, never allow yourself to become his subservient doormat. You do not have to always be available at his beck and call. While you can pretend to do so sometimes, if you're in the mood to grant him an ego-boost, never let him take you for granted or violate boundaries which you would rather he didn't cross. Always practice safe sex by using contraceptives and protection since the last thing you and your psyche need at this point is an unwanted pregnancy.
Although you should tweak your looks and personality from time to time in order to accommodate his tastes better, don't let him change who you are on the inside. If you feel this becoming difficult, and you feel stronger emotions growing within yourself, we recommend ending matters right away. End the relationship on your terms rather than have yourself falling for him and then being pushed away because your emotions and feelings are inconvenient for him to deal with.
While your desire to cater and submit to his tastes where you can to make him feel better is laudable, never forget that your utmost duty is to yourself, not him. While you may care about him, may feel for him, or may even genuinely wish to help him or take care of him, remember that he thinks you're dispensable. So, take care at every turn to shield yourself from mental and psychological harm. There will be times when you may feel bad about the situation you're in, but you can't show any negative feelings while you're attempting to remain the perfect mistress. Whatever may have attracted you to him, and may be keeping you beside him, will also surely be available in someone else who's not already married and cheating on his spouse. You deserve someone who can provide you with a happy, healthy, loving and stable relationship.
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