We use language everyday to communication. Just as everybody needs to take water everyday, he needs to say something with people around him for social or other purposes. Since language is very important in our daily life, how we use language will certainly exert different effectiveness for our communication purposes. Christian Olson has provided some language technique tips for couples to make your marriage refresh and happy everyday.
Tip 1: Make Talking a Routine
If not during the day, take at least 20-30 minutes before you go to sleep to tell your partner what you've been thinking about that day or how it was. You don't want to go to bed ignorant of what the other went through that day.
You might have had experiences with ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, or even ex-fiancees or ex-marriage partners. Don't bring them up, unless they specifically ask about them. And even then, just give them the information they want to hear and nothing more. You see, despite the fact that you know you learned from those relationships, you love your partner more than anyone, and you are com-pletely over them, it is still a touchy subject. No partner wants to be compared. More about that in the next tip.
Tip 2: Be Excited when He/She Comes Home
Maybe your spouse has a day )oh, business trips, or interaction with children (picking them up, dropping them off) every day. I know it becomes a routine after a while so it seems less special, but try be when your spouse comes home. Sadly, in marriage, sometimes the dog is more excited about its owner than the spouse who willfully chose to marry that person. Don’t let the dog beat you to it.
Make sure your children know that the bedroom is a private place for their mother and father to enjoy talking, cuddling, or doing something fun. When you're doing private stuff, let them know that the door is locked for an approximate amount of minutes.
Tip 3: Laugh about It
Some of the happiest people I know, are those who can find a sense of humor in life. Others I know dramatize everything. They exaggerate and blow up when something falls on the floor, spills, or when they hear an embarrassing comment. Take yourself unseriously enough to tell about your most embarrassing moments.
Tip 4: Give Compliments Often
Since I got married, I sometimes ran out of compliments. But that's okay. I actually give the same compliments as I used to, just for repetition’s sake. Why? Because people are forgetful and they want that positive attention that boosts their self-confidence and self-image. I don't know how many times I told my wife she is great, sweet, a wonderful cook, talented, or just a hard worker. Trust me, she never get annoyed because I "say it too often” Everyone loves to be praised. What better way to show your value than to work as hard as you can to create a happy family, a comfortable home, a nice looking yard, cheerful children, or to make a living and provide, so that you both can realize your dreams? Show your commitment by putting your best efforts into it and not be lazy.
Tip 5: Say "Thank You"
Things that were new and special, can become things that you take for granted, because it gets done so many times. I still appreciate a little "thank you" when I do the dishes, even though I do them almost every day. And I know my wife likes it when I thank her for cooking, although that is her "normarl task" in daily life. Keep appreciating what you do for each other by expressing it.
Tip 6： Say "Please"
Nobody likes to be told what to do. And even though you have known each other for a while now, a simple expression of politeness can go a long way. In my experience, I like it a lot better when my wife says, "Tan you get the stuff out of the car, please?" than when she says, "Get the stuff out of the car."
Tip 7: Watch Your Tone
Tone makes up for a huge percentage of what you say, other than just the words. The tone of your voice mostly affects how the other person interprets what you say.
Tip 8: Don't Sigh
I know families who do this all day. "Dad can you help me out?"[Big sigh] ‘Yes, now what? I am busy? What is it?” Sighing is almost like complaining. It’s an expression of discerntent. Try to minimize or avoid this.
Tip 9: Stop Caring about Being Right
A lot of silly arguments don’t matter. I remember a group discussion in which a husband asked, "Which of you have had aiguments with your wives over almost nothing?" Young husbands in their twenties pointed out they fought with their wives over keeping the pan lids on or off when the foods was on the table, the toilet seat, leaving the door open, and even multiplayer video games. We were playing Super Mario Kart, and we agreed I was going to have the star and she was going to get the mushroom, and then she just took the star! I was so mad! Mis what one husband said laughingly, as he reflected on that silly argument.
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