In the language of the King James Version of the Bible, the word know is used to describe intercourse. For example, Isaac knew his wife, Rebekah, and they conceived a son. I used to think this wording was due to the reluctance of those times to deal with sex openly. Now, I like this word know in our era of casual sexual encounters. Lovemaking should be “knowing” what your mate enjoys and needs. This knowledge takes time, curiosity, a good memory, and the willingness to become a student.
Study your mate's responses to know what is most enjoyable. No book can give you that information. Women, even more than men, vary about what feels good一even the stroke and rhythms that are most pleasurable. Be a life-long student of your partner's body and reactions. Acquire reservoir of knowledge of what excites your partner physically and mentally. Set the romantic ambiance, practice the right moves, and reap the exciting benefits of being a wise lover.
Another aspect of being an informed and sexy lover is knowing your own body and sexual responses. You are the teacher of your mate. Do you know what turns you on and increases your desire? It will be difficult teaching your erotic needs to your partner if you are not aware of them. Tune in to your sexuality, and keep expanding your repertoire of sensual delights. A healthy, selfish focusing on your sexual feelings not only allows you to get excited but also turns your mate on. Knowledge of yourself and your mate is crucial to great sex.
The second part of being a knowledgeable lover is your technical knowledge of sexuality. Sexual technique is not the be-all and end-all of a great sexual relationship, but its importance cannot be underestimated. Wives often tell me they wish their husbands knew how to "take them.” They aren't talking about selfish using, but a wise leader that is confident sexually and can assertively take the lead in producing pleasure.
Many chapters of this book are about technique. The couple with their act together sexually knows how to create ambiance and be uninhibitedly sensual and playful. They understand various positions of intercourse, and they have built a comfortable, exciting repertoire of sexual moves. The wife understands how to “ring her husband's chimes.” The husband knows how to orchestrate his wife's responses to produce exciting, sexual music together. Each is wise and skillful, sexually speaking.
SEXINESS = A KNOWLEDGEABLE, TOGETHER PERSON A GREAT RELATIONSHIP!
Time Out: Take a moment to do a quick personal inventory. Which areas of your sex life can benefit from greater knowledge? Which do you hope to improve by reading this book? How are you going to implement change?
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