How many lovers, as they are contemplating the joys of sex, think of lovemaking as being messy? The word mess can be defined as a condition or situation that is uncomfortable, confusing, unpleasant, or untidy. This certainly fits many aspects of sex. It is unfortunate, but many couples let the untidiness seriously dampen their sexual intimacy.
Here is a sample of complaints from marriage partners:
•"He never wants to make love during the menstrual cycle even if the flow is very light."
•"Shc always jumps up and runs to the bathroom to clean up right after we make love."
•"We were using some lubrication and he squeezed the tube too hard and I became one gooey mess."
•"Life can get in the way of a good sex life—at first it was my pregnancy, then his bladder infection, and now the demands of the children."
•"He wants to make love at the most inopportune times一 when I am dressed, have my hair done and my lipstick on, and am ready to leave the house."
•"He enjoys having sex on Saturdays after working in the yard when he is all sweaty and smelly—he also hasn't shaved and gives me beard burn."
•She says, "We're in the mood and fooling around, then we have to mess with inserting birth control and lose our spontaneity." He says, "I hate condoms. They don't feel natural and are such a nuisance."
•He says, "She and I both enjoy oral sex. But sometimes it's awkward for me if she didn't have time to bathe first." She says, "I love it when he climaxes. But I can't seem to get used to how sticky semen feels."
•"Sex is so embarrassing with all its noises and funny faces and awkward positions. The personal intensity of sex with its passion and perspiration intimidates me."
•She says, "I hate sex in the morning—I'm not a morning person, and then I seep semen aLl day." He says, "She turns into a pumpkin at nine at night, and that’s just when I am getting going."
Your environment does not always cooperate, encourage, and support lovemaking Time is difficult to come by, and Children's many demands interfere. The physicalness of sex is not always stately and smooth, birth control can be a nuisance, and bodies are more real than romantic at times. Minimizing the mess and controlling the environment are integral parts of making love. You can learn to relax and handle the untidy in style, or you can let God’s wonderful gift of sex be sabotaged. You may discover that what you thought was an unpleasant aspect of sex can actually be a fun part of mutual lovemaking.
The above complaints are organized into four separate categories that we will work through together. This is not an exciting or erotically arousing chapter, but very practical and important. Often the little things mess up a great sex life. Try your best to minimize the sex while enjoying.
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