As there are three different aspects of mood setting for lovemaking, measures in detail, such as fives senses and tools like props or pillows shall be fully taken use of to improve the mood setting to create a romantic lovemaking environment.
Sensuality.
Sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch are the five senses to majcimize as you explore creating and enjoying a romantic ambiance.
1. Sight. Male and female enjoyment of the visual may vary, but it is important to both. The husband may love to see his wife's body, and an afternoon delight with the sun shining in brightly can be very sensual. His wife may prefer gentle light that softens and dims the body while the other senses are enhanced. Experiment with lighting and find ways to add variety. Flickering candlelight gives ambiance and a pleasant scent, while leaving the bathroom door crocked may give just enough light to feel less exposed but visually connected. The partially covered is often more erotically stimulating than the fully exposed.
Couples often find strategically placed mirrors exciting, and can enjoy being aroused by all that is going on. Movement and choreography are fun turn-ons, as are seductive behavior and dances that you do for the viewing pleasure of your mate. In all of this lovemaking and sensuality, both of you need to both be yourselves and stretch yourselves. I remember a female friend of ours who related that her mom did not do that much in talking about sex, but said one thing that was very helpful: "Your husband is going to want to see you naked" . We don't have to be sex maniacs, just open and playful.
Colors are visually sensual. It doesn't have to be the stereotypical red with black lace. One wife related in counseling that her husband only wanted red lingerie with black lace and it was scratchy to her. She much preferred satin in pastel colors that highlighted her skin tones and clung to her figure. Husband, don't dump on your wife's sensuality and sexuality with your narrow ideas of what is sexy. Wives, occasionally give as a gift something that your husband desires sensually. Bright satin sheets, emerald-green boxer shorts, soft peach teddies, a peacock feather—all contribute to the mood.
Go slow. Setting the mood is something you can enjoy without following through on making love Tease and revel in your sexual feelings from the visual stimulation. Make the bedroom aesthetically appealing to the eyes and other senses. (The bedroom is important enough that we will take a separate section to discuss it.)
2.Smell:Scents are an exciting part of creating a sensual mood. The mind connects sensations such as the odor of perfume to erotic arousal and experiences. The wife’s perfume may be paired in the husband's mind with her total person and especially her femininity and sexuality. Just a scent of it and he feels more in love and can become aroused. The lingering smell of suntan lotion after being on the beach can provoke it. Candles, incense, and scented lotions also add sensual pleasure and an ambiance to making love.
3.Taste: Taste is not always associated with creating sexual moods, but it is a stimulating form of sexuality. The mouth, tongue, and lips are erogenous zones with many nerve endings and a particular sensuality about them.
Lingering over a sumptuous meal is a very sensual experience. Candlelight and long conversations while having coffee and dessert are great mood setters. In the privacy of your own home, feeding each other food and placing favorite tastes in strategic places can be very erotic. There are also flavored lubricants that can be used in lovemaking and add an interesting sensuality.
4.Hearing: Soft music or your favorite song creates marvelous atmosphere. Slow-dance to songs that express tbe love and commitment you feel for each other. Play favorite music during sex and pair up some CDs with your arousal and excitement. You can then listen to them in the car and
begin your lovemaking mentally before you arrive home. Take advantage of sexy talking and uninhibited groans and squeals of pleasure during sexual sessions.
5.Touch:Don't neglect to employ a wide variety of sensual touching experiences. Many women hate to be stimulated continuously in the same way. Try gently rubbing an ice cube over sensitive areas and revel in the sensations. Use a feather duster, satin gloves, a silk scarf, or some fur. Lotions add a different feel to the touching and caressing. Many couples find it very erotic and sensual to spread a covering out and get oily together.
Nerve endings and tactile senses can obviously involve more than touching with fingertips. Lightly blowing can create marvelous sensations on the chest, stomach, or genital area. Breathing gently into the ear can be profoundly erotic. Taking the hair or beard and tickling or teasing sen-sitive areas produces great sensations. The tongue lightly licking or the mouth gently kissing like a butterfly flitting around can create delightful effects.
The bedroom. Romance and sexuality should pervade intimate companionship, and making love will be varied and should not be confined to the bedroom. Because of privacy and comfort, though, the bedroom will be the primary love nest. It is the place that can be made secluded and arousing; and it provides a place to store props like lotions and birth control. It can also have special mood-setting qualities.
Aesthetics is defined as "the art of making something beautiful or appealing to one's taste” The bedroom needs to aesthetically appealing to you. Live flowers in a pretty vase, potpourri, mood lighting or candles, sensuous linens, and the ability to control the temperature are sexual enhancements. You are pairing in your mind the bedroom with fun, sensual, erotic experiences. Just walking into the bedroom should create a different mood.
It helps to have a bed that does’t squeak and a comfortable mattress; these may be necessary expenditures for your love life. Make sure the room is secure against children, with a lock on the door, and train them to respect your privacy when they find it locked. The bedroom is the central environmental setting for making love and creating mood. It probably has been neglected, so do some brainstorming as you spice it up.
Props. Candles, music, and lingerie stimulate ambiance. Flickering candlelight with soothing music in the background creates a totally different mood from that established by mirrors employed in an afternoon delight with some jazz on the stereo. Clothing can be endlessly varied garters and black hose, red boxers with hearts, T-shirts and cutoffs, bathing suits, a dress shirt with nothing else, a tank top, robes and peignoir sets, teddies, matching bra and panties, a tuxedo, and the list can keep going The creativity is not just in the clothing but how you choose to slowly take it off in a sensual, seductive manner.
Couples sometimes worry that certain props (like sexy lingerie, strategically placed mirrors, or vibrators) create artificial or sinfully seductive arousal and will detract from their natural lovenialcing. God gave imaginations and romantic abilities for us to create and enjoy various means of enticing and playing with our mates, and props can be the means to enhance experiences and sensations.
Remember that props should: (1) remain playfully in perspective and never become an obsessive fetish; (2) not detract from your vulnerability and respect, because arousal is dependent on feeling safe and inviting vulnerability on all three dimensions of body, soul, and spirit; (3) never invite anyone else into your bedroom, as pornography does; and (4) enhance true three-dimensional passion and connection. Remember that sexual connecting is God's gift for demonstrating intimate love. Props should be utilized by each couple, according to what each person finds playful and intimacy-enhancing. They are simply a means to an end: creating a sexy environment and providing the tools to enhance lovemaking. The relationship and personal romantic creativity remain the foundation of great sex.
A quick comment on vibrators is in order. Some husbands worry that a vibrator can create sensations that cannot be duplicated by him in creating orgasms, and that it may become addictive. I have not seen addiction but can understand the couple who does not wish to become dependent on a vibrator to create a climax for the wife. But for some women, a vibrator can enhance their ability to achieve an orgasm and seems very appropriate. I don't think there is any Christian prohibition' and for many couples it is simply a prop that gives pleasure and is used occasionally to enhance sensual feelings.
Couples worry that they can only buy vibrators at sex shops. There are many kinds of vibrators that can be bought in regular stores or over the Internet. Smaller ones with less intensity than the larger wands for deep-muscle back massage are better in lovemaking. There are a variety of vibrators that are battery operated for easy use, but finding sources of electricity isn’t really a problem in today’s world.
Pillows are great to lean against as you have intimate conversations or to use in positions of pleasuring and intercourse. They help make the bed the playground it should be. Purchase various shapes and sizes, and use them to keep backs, necks, and muscles from getting too tired. Pillows can be placed strategically to lie on and prop up the genital area for more accessibility. Pillows can also have certain appealing aesthetics in decorating the bed.
Keep handy items for loveplay, from feathers to fruit and lotions to satin gloves. Oils and scented lotions add sensuality to massage as you linger over skin and muscles and curves. Items like a feather duster or satin gloves give different and stimulating sensations. You are limited only by your imagination and creativity. A certain enticing per-fume sprayed lightly over hair or after-shave applied after a quick shave can become quite erotic. You may need to get a locking carrying case for your love paraphernalia that you can store out of reach of children and to easily take on vacation with you.
Don't be overwhelmed by this information on mood setting. Pick out one or two ideas in each section, and start building your ambiance skills. Don't neglect the mental, emotional, or environmental atmosphere. Learning to be uninhibited, creative, and playful will help keep long-term sexuality from becoming a routine—and it's fun!
Time Out: 1. what is your best-used sense: sight, smell, taste, hearing, or touch? Select the one least devel-oped and try something in that area tonight.
If you were going to spend two hundred dollars to make your bedroom more sexy, what would you buy?
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