If you want powerful techniques and easy answers, you may be disappointed in this book. God's plan often involve time, effort, and difficult changes. It can be a wonderful journey if you are willing to take on this fun challenge growing up into a skilled lover and learning to be truly intimate. You'll discover that sex is more about an exciting process.
If a good sex life is built on an intimate marital companionship, what are the vital factors of this companionship and how is it built? What are reasonable expectations of an intimate relationship, marriage, and a fulfilling sexual union?
A Dynamic, Covenant Partnership Must Be Formed
The Bible describes the beauty and complexity of the marital companionship that creates the context for love- making. The loving, intimate relationship of you and your spouse is modeled after the relationship of God and His chosen people. A mature marital partnership truly fashions it-self after redemption, in that you die to yourself and let go of any self-protectiveness. A covenant is formed. Marriage is not a simple contract but a deep vow and promise.
You create a bonded partnership in which you submit your will for the good of your mate. You become naked, nurturing, and safe with each other. Love is patient... It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ... It always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres"
Your union is based on love, humility, gentleness, and trust.
Your trust is well founded because each of you reaches out and lovingly nurtures the other as carefully as you would watch out for your own body. In this union, you look honestly at your own rough edges and shortcomings and humbly try to change them. You choose to give as precious gifts the things that your mate desires and needs. It is a marvelous atmosphere for fun sexual relating and intimate connecting when this kind of tenderness, trust, genuine empathy, and cooperation abound.
I love the words nurture and connected, and I use them many times in this book. Great examples of nurturing are parents lovingly caring for their children or gardeners carefully watering and tending their plants. Mates lovingly nurture each other as well. You are connected with your mate in a way far more profound than the splicing together of two electric wires or the tying of two ropes. You are connected in a partnership that grows ever richer and deeper but takes constant attention and renewal. This is the concept of soul mates and of lovers cleaving together. Like steel being refined, a unique synthesis is created, and a profound connection is formed.
A wonderful synergistic dynamic can occur in marriage. The whole is much greater than the sum of its parts. Individuality, personal pleasure, and separate responsibility are not lost. In dying to self and becoming a one-flesh companion, each partner becomes stronger and achieves things that could not be accomplished alone. The two have the best of both worlds： they are a nurturing couple, and each flourishes as an individual. A totally unique and powerful partnership is created. From this unique relationship of marriage can come sexual enjoyment for both individuals, and as a couple. It will seem like one plus one equals four.
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