Sex is everywhere. It’s used to sell cars. It’s used to sell movies. It motivates clothing purchases, vacation destina-tions, and even car choices. You can't get away from it.
But what is sex really supposed to be about?
When I was thinking about that question, I was browsing the internet for a picture to match the blog post I would write (for this ebook originally began as a series of blog posts on my blog, http://tolovehonorandvacuuni.com). I came across a picture of a man and a woman in their wed-ding attire： she in a flowing white gown, he in a tuxedo. And they were sitting together on a bed.
I don't know how many of us would have been gutsy enough to have a wedding photograph taken on a bed (or how many of us would hang such a picture on our wall), but I think it's refreshing, because it says：
This is important. This is a vital part of our relationship. And it all starts now—after the wedding.
because sex is uniquely created to do that. God made sex to feel great, but He also made it to be a deeply intimate experience.
But while sex is supposed to be stupendous, what if that’s not what you're experiencing? 1 read this quotation on Twitter recently.
Satan's big marriage strategy, get people to have sex before they're married. Then get them to stop once they're married!
Now perhaps you don't believe in Satan—or even in God一 and that's Okay. You can still get everything out of these challenges. But hear out just for a second. Here's the problem with so many us having sex before we're committed for life: it makes sex all about the physical, and not about the spiritual or emotional connection. And then, because sex has come to mean mostly pleasure, it can lose its ability to really cement us together in other ways.
But the problem doesn’t stop there. When we do finally get married and commit to someone, we often stop having sex. Or at least we have it rather infrequently. In surveys I took for my book. The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, I found that 40% of couples made love less than once a week We're just not connecting that often.
So the "act of marriage", that act that can be so wonderful, and so fun, and so significant, often isn't even happening.
Or maybe for you it is happening, but it just doesn't feel very pleasurable. You can't figure out what all the fuss is about, and you’re worried that it was created for everyone but you. Or you're haunted by your past-maybe stuff that you did breathlessly in the backseat of a car, or something that was done to you by an uncle, or a baby-sitter, or a date or maybe you have a hard time staying present when you make love- you’re haunted by images of porn, or movies, or TV shows. And that intimacy is absent.
This month we’re going to Walk through these issues and uncover ways to find the true freedom that sex is supposed to be!
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