When you find someone better than you in some aspects, will you feel angry because of your jealous feeling or will you find a new way forward? Jealousies are always caused by the reality that you don’t measure up to them in some way. However, you can choose right ways to move forward instead of being indulging in such a negative feeling as the green monster will make you unhappy. Think about the situations as below and make reflections yourself accordinlgy.
“She has prettier hair than me - she can afford the stylist. I can’t.”
Look how negative this statement is, and it provokes jealousy. You want hair like hers, but you can’t afford the styling - so instead of feeling bad about something she has that you can’t have, find a way so that you can have it. If this means going out and earning more and saving toward it, that works. Alternatively, you could enlist her help and ask advice on how you can do your hair so that it would look like that. The point is she knows what it takes and may be able to come up with cheaper alternatives that will give you the same outcome. Stop blaming her for having something you haven’t got. It’s not her fault - it’s yours for perceiving it in that way. If you are not happy about how you look, alter it. Try different styles, and see what you can come up with that suits you. The answer lies with you, not with her, and being jealous of her serves no one, least of all you. It makes you look childish, and it makes her feel bad that you have such a negative fixation about her looks.
“He is way too intelligent for me.”
You cannot be jealous about things that are just what they are. There are people who are more intelligent. There always will be. The brain surgeon may be more intelligent than the nurse who deals with the day-to-day needs of patients. The chief of the hospital may be more intelligent than the surgeon. It takes all of these people to make the hospital work like it does. This means that, no matter what your level of intelligence is, you have a place in life. You need to find it and be happy with it instead of feeling jealous about people who are more intelligent than you.
“He never acknowledges me when we are out in public.”
If you find yourself ignored by your partner in public, it’s probably because you haven’t shown him or her the best side of your personality. You need to watch people. See how people behave in public. If you are the jealous type, he or she is avoiding you because he or she doesn’t want to see the look of disapproval every time the poor guy or girl talks to someone of the opposite sex.
He or she doesn’t want to see your miserable response to his or her behavior. He or she doesn’t acknowledge you because you don’t acknowledge his or her right to be him or herself. That’s not fair. If you have a problem with your partner, talk about it openly and not just from your angle. Your angle may just be skewed by bad experiences in the past. Instead of criticizing, try talking to help him or her protect you from feeling jealous because if he or she understands the past experience that made you feel so bad, he or she will want to help you to get over it and move on in a more positive way.
If you feel inadequate in some way or have self-esteem issues, whether these are high self-esteem that you expect too much of others all of the time or low self-esteem that you expect nothing and usually get nothing, you do need to work on it because as long as you see yourself to be a different level compared to people around you, this will always be a cause for jealousy and discontent. Forget trying to be sorry for yourself. You have the same opportunities as anyone else. Stop using your own sense of inadequacy as a reason to be jealous because its negativity will eventually cause you to lose all of the friendships you have.
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