When you talk to a woman or anyone else, one thing you should keep in mind is that you need to judge if that person wants to be talked at all. People who don’t want to be approached by strangers, particularly those they have never met before, will usually show this and make it obvious with their body language. What does this include?
1. Hunching their body posture
2. Crossing their arms.
3. Being turned away from everyone.
These people will usually make chatting to them or walking up to them harder than usual by having sunglasses or headphones on. Someone who is obviously working on their notebook, phone, or laptop, also probably doesn't want to be approached and chatted up at that time. Just because she is writing or drawing in the coffee shop doesn’t mean she wants people to walk up and ask her what she’s doing. It’s true though, that some body language signals are more obvious and easy to interpret than other signals. Trying to talk to a person who is being very obvious about not wanting to be talked to is highly obnoxious behavior and rarely, if ever, welcomed by anyone. Forcing her to pay attention to you by standing next to her until she looks up or waving in front of her notebook is just plain rude.
So how to tell if someone is open to being approached? How are you supposed to able to tell when someone does want to be approached or is interested in having conversations with people? She will have open body language, including a relaxed and straight posture. She might be looking up from her laptop or book to scan the room, observe people, or look at what's going on outside of the window of the coffee shop. She might even have repeatedly looked at you by this point, which is a definite encouraging sign for talking to her.
You may ask how to approach and what is the best way to approach her. Now, you’ve already decided the location is appropriate, she’s looking at books in the afternoon at the local bookstore. You have figured out that the situation is fine; she's not rushing or closing herself off to the rest of the world. This means it’s fine to walk up and talk to her now, which sounds simple enough, but a lot of guys get stuck here. What are you supposed to say and do? Are you supposed to tap her? Make a noise to make your presence known? Exactly when is the best time to ask her to see you again? Here are some tips for you.
Calm down: The best advice here is to calm yourself before moving forward. Don’t end up thinking so much about this that you work yourself up and cannot walk, think, or talk straight. You are simply trying to talk to a person, and thinking too much about it is just going to make you appear awkward and send all kinds of strange signals to her. Don't forget that she’s just a human being and wants to be treated like one. A lot of guys make the mistake of treating women like some type of alien species, so don’t do this.
Approaching: Now is the time to walk up, but make sure you aren’t sneaking up on her. Walk up and stand away at a slight angle instead of approaching her directly from the front, and always make sure that you are staying a respectable distance away from her and not blocking her ability to walk away or exit the situation if that's what she wants.
Being Genuine: If you have no idea what to say, you can simply be perfectly honest. This can be something like “You look interesting, so I’m coming to meet you. What’s your name?” Approaches like this are unusual, feel genuine, and will allow you to receive indication immediately about whether she wants to keep talking with you or not. If she just glances at you and back at what she was doing before, this is a clear sign that she doesn’t want to talk right now and that you should move on your way.
Now you certainly know what you should do when you want to approach the woman you are interested in. Be confident and use the proper way, it’s not hard to talk to her and make her have interest in you.
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