When we don’t add variety to life, it becomes boring and routine. Often, partners in a marriage think it is the responsibility of their spouse to put some effort in their sex life. There is nothing farther from the truth. It should be a mutual effort from both partners to crank up the sex life. Most couples wait for each other to show some initiative. This builds up a string of thoughts that may provoke you to think that your partner is not romantic. There is a high tendency for couples to feel disillusioned about sex after about seven years together. If care is not taken, prolonged dissatisfaction can lead to infidelity or divorce even though this does not have to the case. Of course much has been mentioned about communication. That's a must for things to take an encouraging turn in a lifeless marriage. It is usually at such a time that partners should fold up their sleeves and put some effort to keep the flame burning. There must be the urge to reignite the flames of sexual passion from both partners to ensure that the sex life remains ever vibrant.
Let's look at some of the ways to spice up a marriage:
Rebuilding the once vibrant emotional connection
Sex in marriage should increasingly graduate in the levels of emotional connection other than the physical aspect of sex. This is especially so for women. It is crucial to connect with your partner through more ways than one. This means that partners should share their feelings and express how they feel to each other all the time. For bedroom matters to be resuscitated, emotions of spouses must be highly in sync. Enhancing the emotional connection propels partners' sexual desire for each other and sex will be more of a platform to cement that bond. The chances of getting an orgasm are even higher when partners are able to share about anything.
We did that in our younger years
Many couples have fond memories of when they were young. Why shouldn't married couples recreate these olden days to reignite the sexual spark? A good example is where a married couple can cruise to a secluded spot and park facing the moon. It is there that you can listen to the sounds of the night as you reminisce on the good times you have had and how much love you have had. At such an instance, couples may even have 'forbidden’ sex in the car; forbidden because sex is not allowed in public.
The fact that you can be caught makes sex sensations heightened to the point where it brings exciting feelings back to the romantic life the couple. A married couple should not see some adventurous tendencies as a preserve of the young. Sex can still be exciting for any couple that is willing to embrace their sexuality. After making love, you can cuddle up with some blankets and share sweet kisses throughout the night.
Cleanliness matters
Part of being complacent is forgetting the basics of cleaning up and getting comfortable with the fact that your partner loves you anyway. Cleaning up is not that obvious a clue. Always make sure that you take time to take a shower and get ready as if you are going on a date. Married couples often assume that since these were the basics when their relationship was young, they no longer matter anymore. It is important to never ignore hygiene.
Take your time my love
Foreplay is often neglected when a couple gets married. Sex becomes a routine where each partner just focuses on themselves. Marriage is about selflessness and taking yourpartners needs first. Foreplay can be in the form of kissing, caressing, touching and fondling. Get a glass of champagne and pour it on your partner’ body and lick it off the skin in a sensual way. Women especially, require a man to take his time in pleasuring the woman before penetrating her. Since we have seen that building passion takes work, it takes some of these extremities to reignite that longing. It shouldn’t be a preserve for the young couples.
Foreplay does not only start in the bed. Another form of foreplay is sending each other naughty texts during the day to raise the anticipation for sex. Sexual banter during the day tunes the mind of the married couple to intimate thoughts and shows their desire for each other. For most people to achieve an orgasm, especially women, their minds have to as comfortable as possible. Fondling with each other's body parts can settle the mind to have a great session of love making.
Let it not be obvious
Sex in marriage is often interrupted once the kids come into the picture. There are times you want to make love but the kids call you and you have to stop. Stealing a few kisses and glances can be a good way to tease your partner. Sex does not have to happen because you want it to. The little dance of teasing each other is sexy because once you get down to making love it will be well worth the wait.
Little clues here and there
Once a couple settles in the married life they get so engrossed in their jobs and ambitions that they usually forget how to read each other for hints of burning sexual desire. A married couple should invent little ways of knowing when they have sexual desire. A good example is where they can come up with a few tricks like putting a blindfold under the pillow. In case you come home at different hours, one partner can look for the blind fold under the pillow and use it to gently cover their partner's eyes.
Another way is when a woman can buy sexy lingerie which the husband has never seen before. Then, you can cover up with a gown. It may require a little creativity to trick the kids where you can tell them to direct their dad to the bedroom because you are feeling sick and need to lie down. Take care not to worry the kids though; so don't go overboard. When the husband comes home and is told the wife is not feeling well, he would obviously rush to the bedroom and find you lying in the bed covered up with a gown. Without them knowing you can reveal the sexy lingerie inside the gown and get down to some sensual love making.
Be whoever you want to be
In marriage sexiness often seems to fade away. Imagine it this way. If your partner was being seduced by another person, how would that person do it? It helps if partners can pretend to be other people and seduce each other as if they have just met. The couple could even take it as far as meeting for luch in a new place and chat before heading home. You can rediscover each other’s needs through such foreplay because your partner will feel safe enough to encourage you to be waht he or she desires.
Sex in new settings
There are many scenic places that a married couple can discover. The ideal place should be secluded and should be comfortable enough for a picnic. You could even try skinny dipping together to add a little spark in your sex life.
Other times, it helps to go on vacations or retreats for a few days. Most people love surprises so a married couple can invent a culture of going to new places by writing a number of places they would like to visit and place these suggestions in different envelopes. Then, every time a partner thinks of a place they can write it down and put it in an envelope. It does not have to be an expensive place. The envelopes can be reshuffled monthly and whichever destination is picked has to be visited.
There are many places that couples can visit; like larger cities or secluded places. It is always good to be prepared so a couple can carry some massage lotion, some scented candies and others. At such trips, the couple should leave all their inhibitions and try out new things, even act out some fantasies. A good experiment is where a couple can try new kinds of food in those places and eat in the room wherever they are. They can use the food to tease each other or better still bite from each other's bodies. After a successful trip, it cements the bond if a couple can discuss what a wonderful trip they have had and how they are going to treasure every moment of it.
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