• Being occupied with work, parenthood and other aspects of life.
This may be lame, but this is one of the most common reasons why people have a problem with communication in their relationship. Communication is hard when you are busy raising children and making ends meet.
If you spend too much time at work or doing your personal hobbies, you may be too tired to talk to your spouse about important issues. In fact, you may not even realize the severity of the situation which is building up in your spouse's mind.
A lot of people of people are having this kind of problem today. They are so preoccupied with their careers and all other activities that they don't have the time or the energy to talk about their problems, concerns, joys, and even ideas. This could take a toll on the marriage later on. Many people also make themselves busy as a means of avoiding that talk they actually fear. Criticism of a partner's activities could, after all, lead to confrontation and that(s just what people like Eva were trying to avoid. It is inevitable that the confrontation will happen, but the longer it is left, the more vicious the potential of that accusatory conversation that may even lead to the word “divorce” being bandied about and becoming the eventual result.
• Couples believe that actions speak louder than words.
It’s true that actions speak louder than words. But, there are things that you still have to say. Things like “I love you”，“I care”,“I’m sorry”, and “thank you”. Most men believe that fetching their wives from work or giving them enough shopping money is enough. Most men are not good with words, they’d rather show their love through practical things like fixing the broken pipe and picking up the dry cleaning. This could lead to problems later on because women need spoken affirmations. A woman needs to hear how much her man loves and adores her.
This is where the difference happens between men and women. Women need to feel affection. Men need to feel that they provide. They both thought that they were doing the right thing, but what men and women. Marriage guidance made those differences very clear indeed and they were one of the lucky couples that came out of the difficulties with their love and respect for each other still intact.
• Lack of love
If you no longer feel love and affection for your partner, it will be hard for you to open up your deepest desires and thoughts. It will be hard for you to share your aspirations and dreams. However, be sure of your footing. You may feel that you loathe and detest your partner. However, when put to the test, you may find that what you loathe and detest is the life that you live together.
• Fear
A lot of people do not open up to their spouses because of fear. They fear that their spouse will get upset. They also fear that their spouse could not handle the truth.
In order to build strong and open communication channels in the relationship, both spouses must feel safe to share all their deepest fears, sorrows, insecurities, and dreams.
• Mistrust
Trust issues can close the communication lines in the relationship. This is exactly what happened to Kate and Philip. They had been married for 3 years but Philip was a ladies1 man. He had cheated many times and Kate had turned a blind eye. Then, finally, Philip decided to drop all the other women because underneath it all, he really loved Kate. But, Kate did not trust him anymore. Whenever he told her that he was working late, she thought that he was lying. Kate no longer believed everything that Philip said because of the lies he told her for years. This led to frequent arguments and the couple decided to end their marriage. When there is no trust left in a relationship, there is also a lack of respect.
• Differences
You’ll rarely find a couple who are perfectly compatible. Most couples have differences even at the start of their relationship and this could affect their relationship later on.
Of course, this is not to say that interracial marriage will not work. But, some differences at the beginning of the relationship can affect the communication in the relationship later on and if language is a barrier, that makes the situation even worse.
Working towards developing effective communication patterns also helps bring married couples together. There are very few people who were born to be good communicators, but working on becoming good at communicating together can prove to be very fulfilling for married couples if they put in the effort and commitment. Taking the first few tentative steps towards the goal of effective communication will undoubtedly be tricky and challenging for either partner, but those who persevere will find that the process itself can be both enjoyable and productive. This is partly because trying out different approaches together can result in the development of a shared.
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