Couples have some real fears about having sex during pregnancy. Let us first list some commonsense advice：
Sex During Pregnancy
•Consult your physician and follow her or his suggestions. Your body and pregnancy are unique and may need special guidelines (for example, if you are prone to miscarriages).
•If there is any bleeding or change in condition, immediately seek medical Help.
•Unless there is nausea or complications, most couples can enjoy making love throughout the nine months.
•Sexual intercourse is possible right up to the last week, unless your physician advises otherwise. Refrain from intercourse when labor begins or when your water breaks.
A couple's sex life during pregnancy will often reflect the frequency and level of enjoyment prior to pregnancy. If a couple has a low frequency of lovemaking before pregnancy, they may stop completely during these months. Many women report a normal desire for sex or even an increased arousal with the hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy. During the first trimester, some women experience problems with morning sickness, which dampens desire. In the third trimester, especially near the birth of the baby, the mother-to-be will feel big and tired and awkward. These feelings will slow sexual desire and activity.
Different concerns that can squelch lovemaking during pregnancy need to be actively addressed. One couple worried that the baby was hearing everything they did and had to do some attitude adjustment. A more common concern is that the baby may be hurt. Consult your physician for reassurance. Both the mucous plug in the cervix and the amniotic sac protect the baby from semen or infections in the vagina. The baby is suspended in its own protective environment (amniotic sac and fluid), which is a shock absorber. It doesn't hurt to be active, but you as a couple should be gentler as tirne goes on. Another way to overcome the factor of pregnancy in your love life is to employ more comfortable positions intercourse. The rear entry with
spoons, the crosswise position with legs scissored, the edge-of-the-bed position—all are effective during pregnancy (see Chapter 12).
Another common difficulty in pregnancy is body image.
A woman can feel very unsexy as she gains weight and her stomach distends. Some men find themselves more excited their wives' bodies, while others find difficulty being aroused, which can reinforce her fears of being unattractive. Though the wife's breasts can be tender and sensitive, the changes in them can also be exciting and arousing to the man. As the pregnancy progresses, both of you may be eaget for the wife's body to return to normal. This is a great oppor-tunity to allow lovemaking and sexiness to extend beyond body shape andsixe. As you age, you will both need this skill more and more, and it is a wonderful opportunity to grow your sex life beyond the purely physical plane. Don't stop making love; broaden your understanding of it.
If you struggle with body image, you may want to go to Chapter 16 and pursue some healing. Everyone has flaws, and if you make them the focus, you will destroy your ability to truly enjoy and be aroused by your mate. Wife, let your pregnant body symbolize femininity in a beautiful, sexy manner. Do some self-talk. Husband, affirm her in ways that you haven't in the past. She needs it now, with varicose veins and a tummy that will probably never be as flat again.
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