In real life, we tend to present our best qualities in order to be liked and be accepted. Sometimes we hear our partner's likes and dislikes and we try to mold ourselves to fit their idea of ideal partner. In the long run, this only causes troubles. Tomorrow, two weeks from now or a couple of years later, someone reveals their true colors and suddenly the relationship is no longer what it was. Or worse, it comes to an abrupt end.
If you are honest with yourself you can easily avoid this fatal outcome. The trick is learning who you are and what you’re looking for. If you don’t know the answer to these two questions, you will never find exactly what you’re looking for. Introspection might seem like a tedious job that requires a lot of your time, but there are actually shortcuts you can take to speed this process along.
Ask your friends how they see you and let them describe the perfect partner that may be good fit for you. People around you will usually have a viewpoint of your life and character traits so they can adjust themselves to us. Their picture of us may be really different form who we really are. This doesn’t necessarilly say much about your friendship, but it will reveal a mountain about yourself personally. From there you can examin waht it true and what is not. Your friend might take you for a flashing person, who always tries to be noticed through their spectacular actions, when in fact you go out of your way to help everyone have a great time when they are around you. They might think you’re pretentious, but the truth is you value your achievements, enjoy your success and don’t care what everyone else thinks. The point is: people see us through their own lenses, but sometimes we need to clean those goggles to make them see the real, undistorted picture.
Dating in cyberspace will give you the chance to present yourself under a real light, so dig deeper and describe yourself realistically. When you find out who you are, the one you are looking for will present themself. And under no circumstances should you settle for what is in front of you or available at the moment. You are better off alone than with someone you picked up just because you were lonely or wanted a relationship right away.
Your Deal Breakers
There are very different people treading this earth, so you have to be careful when you choose a lifelong partner. Some people are stimulated by challenges and will think you are the one if you oppose their opinions. Others will find it offensive and disrespectfulif you don’t take their side all the time. You need to learn what the deal breakers are for you and describe them on your dating profile. This way you will weed out the types you don’t want to contact you and encourage more like minded people.
Think about your past relationships and what made you break up. Think about what made you mad, what you want and your partner to change and which traits you wanted transformed at the time. You don't need to nag anyone to change their character for you if you find a partner who doesn't have those traits to begin with. Still, you need to stay realistic and avoid being led by your ego. In your profile, don't write essays to describe your deal breakers, but don't cut it short either. Most people will scroll over your profile if you have the typical and boring descriptions like: I love the beach, I love to laugh, I love dancing, I hate lying, I hate cheaters, I hate wars. Most of us love and hate these things, so try not to look like another fake or uninspired profile. You need to personalize your online profile so when other users read your descriptions they get a glimpse of the real person you are.
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