When it comes to self-sufficiency, Let's have a look at emotion experience examples of Susan and Jane. Susan is a girl who has confidence issues and is looking for a boyfriend who will love her. She always feels unloved. Therefore, not only will he need to love her, but she will expect that love to be every bit as real as it seems in fairy stories. She has no sense of what real love is about because she hasn't experienced it. She always feel less than whole without a man, therefore, this puts a great of responsibility on any man who takes her on. She is more likely to feel jealous because her expectations are always unrealistic. Quite different from her, Jane had been wonderfully brought up and she has a happy family background. She has learned what she wants from her life. She is highly educated and is happy with what she is likely to achieve in her life. She doesn't have an issue about how attractive she is to the opposite sex and doesn't really think about it very much. She never had any problems in getting a boyfriend. Moreover, anytime if the relationships ended in the past, she always has a friendly attitude. She looked after herself and has learned self-love. But this doesn't mean she is selfish. Instead, she is just happy and really has the ability to give herself to a man who offers her a relationship that is equal.
The difference between Susan and Jane is that Jane has self-sufficiency while Jane does not. With self-sufficiency, Jane knows how to cope if the relationship ends. She isn't so dependent upon her love life that her whole life would end if the relationship ended. She has enough faith in herself what is going to happen. As she is strong on her own, she has something to lean back on even when she fails in the relationship. She locates herself into a better position from the outset because she will appeal to great men. People surrounding her love her independent nature and respect her ability to do things. They will always admire that she isn't afraid of her own feelings.
Completely different from Jane, Suan is a girl with all the issues. If a relationship breaks up for her, she will break into tiny pieces and it will become a huge drama because she hasn't learned how to live and cope on her own. She can offer herself in a relationship. However, instead of maturing and being able to offer someone who has so much to offer, insufficient girls like Susan can just offer a broken person for the potential relationship and expects that broken person to become whole as soon as he starts to love her. Such dependent girl will quickly be very jealous in case any of the following things happen:
He takes his mother's side against her;
He telephones a secretary at work;
He asks a woman to dinner;
He looks at other women;
He goes to social gatherings where he may meet someone else.
Compared with Susan, as a self-sufficient girl, Jane maybe hurt by unfaithfullness, but she will be less likely to become the victim. She doesn't use jealousy as a means to get what she wants out of life. And she doesn't use insecurity to gain some kind of protection from a man because she doesn't need it. Instead, she will indulge into interesting things she liked before the relationship started and is more likely to recover more quickly and improve herself to a higher degree.
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