Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau offers more suggestions for making love without the urgency to head for the bedroom and get nude in this passage. These activities further underscore the spirit of erotic fun with clothes on—subtle, pervasive, spontaneous, tantalizing, and sensuous loveplay. You can act as a sensual explorer to improve physical affection by grabbing, controlling,dressing up and other fun activities.
Sensual Exploring
How do you think Marco Polo felt enjoying marvelous new experiences daily? Great lovers have the qualities of a famous explorer: curiosity, adventure, and a desire for more Knowledge and new discoveries. Your mate’s body can be your undiscovered territory if you are willing to enjoy eye-to-body and hand-to-body bonding in innovative ways. This exploring can be done nude, but doing it clothed has special excitement. It allows you to concentrate on exposed parts like face, hands, and feet without genital distraction.
It is easy to build the attitudes of a sensual explorer, letting your fingers do the walking. Gently explore curves and crannies; feel the beauty of the human body and the softness of a cheek or firmness of a shoulder. Drink up your lover’s uniqueness as you touch and memorize some of your favorite sensations. Close your eyes and focus on hand-to-body contact as you lightly run fingertips over your partner.
Part of the fun of making love with clothes on is the sensuous texture of fabric and the way it alters the feel of the body under it. Gently stroke your mate’s back with a T-shirt on, and feel the soft warmth of the flesh underneath. Wife, stroke your husband’s genitals with his underwear on. Now repeat, caressing the body with a more silky fabric—the experience is entirely different. Stand up facing your mate and massage his upper arms with his suit coat on. Husband, lightly touch your wife’s hips and buttocks with a slip or pantyhose over them. Expand beyond erogenous zones and become a sensual explorer!
Physical Affection Versus Grabbing or Controlling
“I wish we could hug without him grabbing me.” One wife related how she and female friends at work were laughing in frustrated amusement about how their husbands’ hands were “homing devices." This irritating male habit is certainly not consistent with the idea of making love with clothes on. Couples, wives especially, need physical affection and warm nurturing gestures that are not always focused on the breasts or buttocks or genitals. Maybe you did not grow up in a home in which physical affection was demonstrated freely. You may need to learn physical nurture that is not overtly sexual.
Perhaps it is not fair to pick on men. Some women also have trouble allowing easy physical affection without its heading in a sexual direction. More often, however, the female counterpart to grabbing is needing control. Making love with clothes on can be hampered by always wanting exactly the right time and place. Yes, it can be a nuisance to stop and get romantic when you are intensely involved in a project. And yes, when you are busy, sex may be the furthest thing from your mind But part of making love all the time involves relaxing control and enjoying your mate.
After your mate has had a shower, take a towel and dry off his or her body. Who cares if you have an hour before you head for church. This will take five minutes. Massage the scalp, rub the back, pat the face, and nurture your mate, tike other making love-with-clothes-on gestures, the emphasis is not on visual even physical stimulation but on touching and enjoying with a cloth boundary. Let it be a subtle sexual experience.
Dressing Up
Clothes are fun erotically. They stimulate the imagination and increase anticipation. Imagine what is under a robe or a strategically draped towel. Use your creativity and dress up /or your mate. Flatter your strengths, and flaunt your masculinity or femininity. Build a private wardrobe designed for taking love and increasing sexual attractiveness.
Clothing doesn't have to stimulate erotic thought to enhance your ability to make love to your mate all the time. Maybe you enjoy dressing up for a wedding ora night on the town. Making love with clothes on is getting excited by your mate's appearance in evening clothes, admiring that new tennis outfit or colorful top, appreciating a particular piece of jewelry, and delighting in the love and joy of eye-to-body pair bonding. Dress up for your mate, and watch your intimacy grow deeper.
Unexpected Treats
Variety and the unexpected do indeed create spice in life.
Part of the fun of nriaJcing love with clothes on is spontaneously enjoying hand-to-body; hand-to-genital, and genital-to-genital encounters while clothed. Unzipping pants in the privacy of a car or home in order to share some quick contact is tremendously exciting. Stay loose, and don't get goal oriented—just enjoy the short encounter.
So much of your time is spent clothed, so plan treats for your mate. Buy an outfit with convenient buttons or zip-pers. Let the erotic and romantic pervade your relationship. Encourage that occasional foray beneath the clothing as you keep the unexpected alive.
A Striptease for One
Be intimate and trusting and allow yourself to be totally naked and unashamed writh your mate Falling deeper in love is a marvelous process. In the context of this safe relationship of marriage it is bonding to do some stripteasing and self-disclosing Baring your soul is usually more difficult than taking your clothes off, but both are important. Orchestrating your private striptease for your mate can be an-other playful aspect of making love with your clothes on.
I am tallking to both husband and wife; and I am not encouraging you to get completely nude. Wife, put on your husband's shirt cover a funny T-shirt and wear some sexy lingerie under that- Take your time in slowly pulling off various garments as you eat supper or do some other activity together. Right now in your closet and drawers you have all the garments for a fantastic show. Maybe include a fancy dress, your bathing suit, and the lavender bra and panties. Get creative and have some fun being silly together.
Husband, find out what garments are sexy to your wife and what aspects of your body trigger erotic thoughts. If it is your hairy legs or muscled shoulders, start off with them covered and show them off as the striptease proceeds. Buy a muscle shirt or brightly colored gym shorts. Be subtle, and arouse your mate with innuendo and hidden secrets. Maybe do the unexpected by buying a crazy for-you-only item of apparel and setting the stage so you can slowly strip. This is pair bonding and loveplay. You are building that deeper intimacy you have been searching for. Throw caution to the wind, and let the clown and entertainer in you take over.
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