In fact Jealousy reveals more about you than the person you are jealous of. And its volumes it speaks are not positive ones.We all want other people's approval and want to feel good about ourselves. But when you introduce negativity into your character traits, you cannot expect to find approval. Jealousy is possibly the worst negative character trait. Like anger, jealousy also may erode a relationship and those living to live with it will eventually say, "enough is enough." It isn't because there was no love but because jealousy squashes the life out of love until love isn't viable anymore.
What jealousy reveals about you?
You could imagine a child who wants sweets because friends have sweets. The reason she was not given sweets may be caused by her diabetes problems or tooth problems. And her parents are trying to protect her by keeping her away from sweets. However, jealousy takes over and the child starts get very selfish and badly behaved toward other kids because they have something that they wants. You can imagine the way that the other kids see this child and you can also imagine the frustration that this gives her parents when they receive a phone call from the school to tell them about her unacceptable behavior. This is a classic case of jealousy at its basic. Even for adults, whenever you're exercising jealousy, you're perceived by others to be every bit like that child. People see you as negative and will avoid you because they don't want your jealousy offloading onto them.
What jealousy reveals about you is as below:
●It reveals you are discontent.
●It reveals you are insecure.
●It reveals that you want what other people have.
●It reveals that you cannot control your own emotions.
●It reveals that you need extra reassurance.
Reassurance to jealousy
All statements as above applies to the kid who wants sweet when other kids have. She isn't content and she feels that she is being deprived of something and doesn't fully understand why. She wants what other kids have and cannot control the urge to do something about it. At the end of the day the kid wants reassurance as well because no one has really explained to her the consequences of eating sweets and why she is being treated this way.Reassurance may be expressed as below:
You are a very special kid, and we need to keep you safe from what sweets will do to you.
●We love you, and if we can make up for it in another way, we will.
●If you can go without now, we can perhaps find something that’s just as good a bit later.
●Your teeth are really precious, sweetheart, and we find you something more delicious than sweets.
Effects of reassurance
With these encouraging words, the child may feel a little less deprived and a little more loved. She may still want sweeties, but she at least knows that there is a consequence in her special case if she eats them. The mindset with which every person on earth views life will determine how they see any particular problem. If you look at the examples shown below, you can see that there are three potential ways that a child can feel in this situation, depending upon how the parent deals with the situation. There is no need for a child to feel deprived, and certainly, a child should never feel that he or she hasn’t got sweets because he or she doesn’t deserve them and is unworthy in some way. That will make the child even more likely to have self-esteem issues in the future, and it really isn't a mature way forward.
●I am not permitted to eat sweets.
●I am special, and sweets are not good for me.
●I am left out when it comes to all the good things.
Replace jealousy with trust
In the same way, people around you see you in different ways. Most people want approval and thrive on it, but jealous people get the wrong kind of attention. They are thought of as selfish. They put their own needs before the needs of others. People don't want jealous people as friends because they poison friendships. Jealousy says YOU have problems, and that’s what you have to look at and examine, because if you don’t, nothing will change. You go from one jealous situation to another and blame everyone else when, in fact, it is your mindset that is to blame. The bottom line here is that jealousy says you are a negative person with negative views of the world. Jealousy will not win you any brownie points in the eyes of friends or lovers. In fact, it’s positively unattractive and shows that YOU have problems that you need to address. If you do not address these problems, jealousy will make you of less value to people around you. Thus, you need to get out of the vicious cycle and learn that trust is far more beneficial to you and those who are close to you. Trust yourself. Trust others, and expect equal trust. Put jealousy away because it would not only do you harm, but it would also be likely to end relationships that otherwise have the potential to be successful.
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